Happy Valentines Day to everyone! Whether you love or despise this day, there really isn’t anyway of avoiding it. The stores start filling their shelves with candy and cards and sexy lingerie the day after Christmas. Hallmark runs those adorable ads enticing all of those smitten guys out there to come and buy their sweetheart the next craze in talking, hugging bears. The restaurants run special menus and spas have exciting relaxing packages to purchase. But, is it all really necessary? Do we have to have a holiday specifically earmarked as “go buy the diamond and propose already”.
My husband and I have been having a lovers quarrel lately(fight). I won’t get into the assorted details of our disagreement(he’s wrong-I’m right) that has lasted for a few days now. But, as we were discussing(yelling)a certain topic(again!), I told him not to bother with a card, flowers or any other materialistic token of his love because I didn’t want it(actually true). I then went on to tell(yes, tell not yell)him that I don’t ask for much from him except for courteous, responsible, genuine behavior. He stares at me blankly because I’m sure all he is hearing is “I yada yada him blah blah blah – oh she’s done talking now”. In an attempt to drive home my point I tell him that I have to be every living, breathing man’s ideal spouse because I DON’T want to celebrate this stupid day! He’s not convinced, which I must say is part of the problem because he just doesn’t pay attention. I don’t need a special day to tell him that I love him and I particularly don’t want HIM to NEED a special DAY to TELL ME that HE LOVES ME! Is that so much to ask? In the past, he has been very generous with gifts and it’s lovely but, I want him to want to and not feel as if he has to. Last year at this time, I had to have a hysterectomy. My family was good about helping out and sending flowers and food and helping with the kids. But, on Valentines Day he asked if I would be ok by myself and he took our youngest son and went to town to pick up some groceries. Great! I have the house to myself; he is buying food; I can be in a drug induced state of mind, this is the life. When he returns, he has a bouquet of flowers and a nice card. I had forgotten what day it was and it was all very touching. But, he didn’t need to get me the flowers because he took Brady with him to the store and being in a quiet house was present enough. It’s the small things, the things that truly come from the heart that are most important to me.
So, in a few more hours this day will pass. We are not quarreling anymore because I started talking to him in a normal tone. We had a nice little blizzard yesterday and all day long all I did was worry about whether or not he would make it home from work in one piece. I was relieved when he drove in the drive in the darkness of the night – completely safe and sound. THAT was my Valentine’s Day gift – even if he doesn’t understand it.
