Yoo-Hoo Social Security, Where Are You?

Have you ever received the letter summing up your reported income and how much you have paid into Medicare and Social Security.  Normally, once a year after you have done your taxes this handy little info-guide to your retirement shows up asking you to take a look at the reported income and make sure it is accurate.  It then tells you what your family/spouse would receive upon your demise and whether you have made enough to request Medicare at the age of 65.  I always find these letters entertaining.  It amazes me to see that if I would croak tomorrow, I am actually worth more dead than alive.  I have worked, in my lifetime, a total of 19 years.  The income I have generated allows for a nice monthly payment to go to Chuck to help with the kids.  Since I am a stay at home mom right now, any money that he would receive is more than I am making now.  So really I am worth more dead than alive(monetarily).  But, here is where it becomes absurd.  

In this letter it also explains how Social Security is used and how it has been distributed.  The latest letter(we received this week)tells us that if WE do not do ANYTHING about the current state of Social Security, by the year 2040 it will be gone.  WHAT!  Where is all the money going?  According to their statistics, the money being paid out in Social Security has doubled in the last 20 years and they see this becoming the trend.  Ooooh – many questions filled my head.  So I will ask them and let all of you give me the answers.

1.  Why do WE have to DO something about it?  Where the hell are all of our elected officials in Washington?  Oh I forgot.  They are too busy campaigning and slamming the leader of the free world to worry about their constitutents.

2.  Where is Al Gore and his little black lockbox when we need him?  I kid.  Or am I?  That lockbox sounds like a good idea right now, but he is too busy telling me how to save the Earth.  Why do I need to go “green” now when I may not get any “green” when I am 65.

3.  Is my pending SS money going to illegal aliens?  I don’t know and some of you may think that is an ignorant question, but COME ON PEOPLE.  We have people sneeking in from Mexico to come to this country to “seek a better life” and to live “in the melting pot of the world”.  Fine.  But could you at least have the courtesy to learn English.  You snuck in, now give me a reason to WELCOME you by learning to speak our language.  At least years ago immigrants came on a boat passing the Statue of Liberty and upon reaching the shore got down on their hands and knees and kissed the land.  They were appreciative and I welcome them for that.  Do you think that when they crawl over a fence in the black of night they stop for a second and kiss the ground?  I digress.

4.  Where in the hell are the people in Washington?  Oops.  I already asked that question.  I forgot.  The Democrats are too busy trying to rally votes for an Immigration bill and the Republicans are too busy worrying if Fred Thompson is going to enter the Presidential race.

So ladies and gentlemen I guess we do have to solve this problem ourselves.  My solution would be to start stashing your money under your mattress like our grandmothers used to do – but don’t let Elisabeth Hasselbeck know because she would think you were breaking a marriage vow by hiding money from your husband.  In the words of my mother:”Whatever”.  

  

The Day I Tried to Climb Out of a Hole

Have you ever felt so down that you think there is no way you will ever climb out of the hole you are in?  This weekend is one of those times.  I don’t know why……..well, I do know a few reasons but, it has never made me feel quite like this.  Last night I thought I might pull out of it.  Allison and I were scanning the channels for something exciting to watch on a Saturday night.  She likes watching movies and has become fond of the classics they show on PBS.  Last nights feature was West Side Story.  I have never seen this movie or the musical in a theater, so I decided it would be a great selection.  Allison thought there was too much “romance” and waited anxiously for “some real action”.  She was disturbed by one part, but I explained it to her and she seemed ok with it.  It is where Anita goes to tell Tony that Maria will be detained and the Jets “attack” her in the soda shop.  All in all, we both gave it a thumbs up.  Rita Moreno rocks in this film.  I then watched Saturday Night Live and caught a few laughs and liked listening to Maroon 5.  But, this morning I still feel that urge to run away.  I have done all the things they tell you to do.  I am out of bed, dressed and ate a light breakfast.  I cleaned the kitchen and folded some laundry.  I played with the dog and refereed a few battles between the kids.  Still, I just want to get in the van and drive really fast to nowhere in particular.  I’m still taking my anti-depressants and it is sunny outside so those two things don’t really factor in.  I don’t know.  I just want to feel the wind whipping through my hair and know that when I do return I will not have any responsibilities.  No such luck, though.  As I type, Bryce is wanting a drink of tea, Brady wants an banana and Allison is telling me there is nothing to do today.  So, where is Chuck?  He is at work.  As usual.  And there you have it: AS USUAL.  That pretty much sums up my life.  Nothing is ever going to change.           

Joy Behar is my Hero!

Wow, I never thought I would ever utter those words.  This woman and I have extremely different views on so many topics that I never felt like I would be rooting for her in a hot topic discussion on The View.  One thing led to another and autism and vaccinations was brought up.  Rosie said(I paraphrase) that the mercury in the vaccinations seems to be a possible cause for the autism.  It became more apparent between the years of 1991 through 1995 and that the government did a recall on those mercury laced vaccines BUT did not recall ALL of them.  Joy responded, with the question if there was mercury in the vaccines and this is linked to autism, then how come not all children who were vaccinated during the 91-95 time period did not acquire this disorder.   I swear I jumped up from the recliner and started screaming YES  YES YES YES at the television.  Finally another person who is thinking the same way I am about all of this.  The fact that it was Joy was unbelievable, but who cares.  Another living, breathing human being was speaking my thought on national television.  Then in the background Elisabeth says that a child who was given a tainted vaccine coupled with him or her being predisposed with a certain chemical make-up could be more of a target(again paraphrasing).  But, I don’t think anyone really heard what she said because by this point they were all talking at once.  I also agree with Elisabeth.  A chemical make-up of a child is what starts the ball rolling on the path towards autism.  Of course that is my very humble opinion. 

Jenny McCarthy was a guest co-host last week and she “confirmed” that her 5 year old son is autistic.  Why she had to “confirm” to the American public is beyond me, but she has written a new book about this and will be back in the fall to talk about it.  She used words like “my big mouth” and “blow the cover off” in describing how she would be addressing the issue.  This has led me to believe that she is journeying down Vaccination Road and I am very sorry to hear that,  if that is the case.  My blood just boils when I hear people blaming this on the mercury because they are not scientists, they are people like me.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion but, I also feel like they don’t want to look at this with an open mind.  You may say that I am not being the open-minded one.  I am.  I realize that the vaccine could be a possibility.  I also realize that in my son’s case the pieces don’t all fit together.     

So, for today, JoyBehar you are my HERO!  

A New 9/11 Tragedy

Love her or hate her.  Admire her or despise her.  Always want to know what she says or could go through the rest of your life never hearing her name again.  Whatever your stance is on Rosie O’Donnell I beg you to listen to me this one time.  Rosie has written an entry in her blog about a segment for The View that was taped today to be shown on Friday’s show.  It is about the people who responded to the 9/11 tragedy at the Towers.  These people were EMT’S, Firefighters, Police and Security.  They are now experiencing health problems from this horrific day and apparently our government is not helping them very much.  Granted I have not researched this enough to give a full-fledged editorial opinion, but even if this is remotely true, we have a new tragedy on our hands.  These people were doing their jobs to help their fellow Americans.  They are heros and now they are suffering.  But, once again our media also has a twisted view of what they consider to be newsworthy.  Please check this item out on her blog.  You don’t have to read anything else on her website, just this article.  My heart goes out to these people and God Bless them for their acts of bravery on a very grim September day. 

www.rosie.com/blog/inthenews 

The title is First Responders

American Idol, Oprah Winfrey and Starving Children

So, the blockbuster hit American Idol is “giving back” this week.  I found all of the hoopla that had been brewing for the past few weeks exhausting and almost dreaded last night to come.  But, after watching the footage of the trips to Africa and around these United States and hearing “inspirational songs” from the contestants I easily became enthralled.  It made me re-examine my life and realize that somehow,  someway I could do more. 

I was afraid at first that this would be all about Africa and the dire conditions most of the population live in.  I mean, wasn’t Simon walking through an open field of trash at one point?  Seeing rail thin girls lying on the floor using all of their energy to take a breath was very depressing.  My problem wasthat thousands of miles away Ryan and Simon were assessing this tragic state of affairs when in our own backyard you can find the same thing.  Finally, they showed Randy going back to Louisiana, Simon was in California and Ryan and Paula went to Atlanta.  Homeless people living in tattered card board boxes, young children standing in line with their parents at a food bank and young students in the Appalachian region telling the camera that if you can’t read “you ain’t hardly able to get a job ’cause that’s what it’s about”.  Sad, poignant, heart wrenching and oh so very real. 

The premise for tonight was that for every call made to vote for a contestant, Fox would give 10 cents up to 50 million phone calls(basically Rupert Murdoch is shelling out the money because I believe he owns Fox).  They extended the voting from two to four hours to give the folks at home an opportunity to vote as often as they wanted and to increase the chances of getting more money.  This show has had 30 million phone calls in a two hour time period so I believe that in four hours they can reach the goal of 50 million calls.  Over the past seasons, I have maybe voted a handful of times.  Last night I wrote down all the phone numbers and decided that I was going to vote.  I voted for my favorites first and often and then I voted once for each of the remaining contestants.  So I contributed a total of $1.40 to the relief campaign.  Whoopee!!  In retrospect that doesn’t seem like a lot of money, but at least it is something. 

This makes me think of Oprah Winfrey and the school that she had built in Africa.  She spent millions and millions of dollars on this all girls academy.  The young ladies had to apply to get into the school and Oprah herself decided who was in and who was out.  I applaud her efforts for wanting to change a young girls life that otherwise would probably have been filled with nothing but despair.  But, did it need to be that expensive?  20 million dollars for one school?  That school could not have been built for half that amount?  I’m not an engineer or construction guru, but it seems to me that it isa possibility.  Then she could have taken the rest of that money and gave a million to 10 other schools in the United States.  Come on, a  million dollars would buy a plethora of books, computer programs and other resources for those children in that Kentucky school that we saw on Idol.   I don’t get it.  If you want to be a hero, at least try spreading your wealth where you pay your taxes.  We don’t always have to be a savior for every third world nation, especially when someone a few blocks away from where you live would like to be saved for at least a day.        

U.S. Dept. of Labor vs. Rosie

In her latest “ask Rosie” section of her blog, there was a very interesting question/comment submitted.  Apparently, this unknown person, who also stated they did not use their real name, let Rosie know that her blog has been blocked by the Dept of Labor.  This person said that he/she used to read her blog at lunchtime and yesterday when he/she went to pull it up, it is now “a restricted site on the internet”.  Are you kidding me?  This is the highest level of censorship.  A government agency forbidding employees from reading whatever they want on their own time.  I’m at a loss for words………………well, not really.

Rosie has made it very obvious that she believes this administration is corrupt.  She voices her opinion on The View quite often and the administration in one form or another is a Hot Topic almost every day.  I do not agree with all of her opinions on the show.  But, her blog is her business.  This website of hers is for her to be able to say and do whatever she wants.  Again, the news items and videos she posts do not reflect my opinion all of the time, but she has this venue to do what she wants.  I have this blog to write what I want.   Granted, I am not in the public eye and am not considered a celebrity.  But, isn’t it considered Free Speech to say what you want on YOUR website?  Is the US Dept of Labor scared of what Rosie is saying?  Are they afraid that people will begin to believe what she says?  Is there truth in any of the negative comments that she makes?  Is this considered another cover-up?  Or is there no truth at all in what the unknown Dept of Labor employee submitted to Rosie?  It would be pretty hard for a civilian to get the answer to that.  Part of me really wonders if this is just some jokester pulling a very bad prank.  I would think that if it were true and an official in the Dept of Labor caught wind that an employee squealed to Rosie, that that person could/would lose their job.  It can’t be that hard to track down who actually sent her the e-mail because when you submit a question you also submit your e-mail address.  So, what do you think?  Government censoring or some looney who just wanted to see their name in print?  I’m hoping it’s the looney.        

Completely Random Thoughts of the Week

This has been a very busy week and my brain is on overload.  Time to rid it of some useful and not so useful tidbits of information.

The View – I did not see it Thursday or Friday but I did hear about Thursdays show.  Ok, I like Rosie.  I think that if we lived close and actually knew each other we would be friends.  She does a lot of good and is sincere and caring but, OMG she can not let up on our President and all of his merry men.  Her political negativity is driving me crazy.  But, for some insane reason I can not turn away.  If she was not on the show, I probably would not watch – crazy I know!

American Idol – Simon Cowell has now said that if Sanjaya wins the whole thing he is quitting the show.  Geez Simon, that kid does not need another reason for people to vote for him!!  Think before you speak, man.  Even though I wanted Sanjaya to go Thursday, I was not surprised Brandon left.  Cardinal sin – he forgot his words and HE was a background singer for some pretty big artists.  He knew better so – Bye Brandon, hope you-know-who joins you next week!

“Find Me” – read this book this week.  It is a book written by Rosie O.  It is a very quick read and I was surprisingly astonished.  At the end, though, it opened up some flood gates and triggered some memories that I have had repressed for a long time.  This story made me laugh, cry, and scared me all at the same time.  I have issues and they need to be dealt with – soon.

Families – can’t live with them, can’t live without them.  Enough said.

Friends – the shiniest coins in the fountain.  You can see them in the clear sparkling water but sometimes it takes more than one try to actually grab ahold and keep them forever.

Bryce – he had an appointment with his developmental specialist today.  We are starting to form a game plan for his IEP for kindergarten.  Funny how you think that there has been progress made until a professional analyzes everything and can point out all the weaknesses.  There were some strengths but more weak areas than I thought there was.  So, time to re-focus and start anew.  This is a big journey for us and if I misinterpret something and lead us down the wrong path, it takes a lot of time to re-configure and get back on the right footing.  Lots of reading to do and lots of Internet time being spent to find just the right things for our agenda.  Hey, can anyone clone me for the next few years.  I’d really appreciate it!

Doctor visit – my visit with doctor did not go as expected.  There seems to be evidence that my bladder could be causing me problems.  I’m still having pain and the doc says that even with all of the ovarian cysts, they are not the cause.  He is sending me to an urologist.  Hard part now is finding one that is in my network!  My doc thinks he will do this procedure that will not be comfortable and will require sedation.  I hope he is wrong.  I want to feel better but I have to draw the line somewhere. 

NCAA Mens Basketball Tournament – Duke LOSES in the first round!  When was the last time that happened!  Oh well, I guess they have to lose sometime because my Buckeyes are going to do what the football team could not get accomplish – win the national title!  GO BUCKEYES!!

Spam – I love hearing from people who read these entries on my blog, but thank goodness for the spam filter.  I checked it this morning and somebody posted a nice comment and then told me to check out this link.  So, I click on it and it was a pornography site!!!  Needless to say, he got deleted FOREVER.  This is Welcome to the World of Moms NOT Welcome to the World of Hugh Hefner!! 

Ann Who?

Ann Coulter is an educated, conservative, blonde,  average looking woman who puts her money where her mouth is……………..and sometimes her foot, too.  Today, I have read two separate articles about this woman.  One was a light-hearted take from D.L. Stewart who wanted everyone to know that there is more to her and he wanted to “find her softer side”.  The following are some remarks she has made in the past:

Bill Clinton:  “We’re now at the point that it’s beyond whether or not this guy is a horny hick”(Equal Time, not dated)

Immigration:  “I’d build a wall.  In fact, I’d hire illegal immigrants to build the wall………it’s cheap labor.”(The O’Reilly Factor, 2006)

Women: “I think women should be armed but should not vote…..women have no capacity to understand how money is earned.”(Politically Incorrect, 2001)

New York Times: “My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is that he did not go to the New York Times building.”(New York Observer, 2002)

Herself: “I’m here, I’m not queer and I’m not going away.”(In Godless: The Church of Liberalism, 2006)

She has also been quoted on Fox News as saying that this probably makes her 17th time of having a career ending moment, but people still keep putting her on the air.  This was in reference to her gay slang word that she used to describe presidential candidate John Edwards.  

Is this woman nuts or is she really this frightening real.  I will admit, I chuckled at at least one of her prior quotes, but the rest I found to be very insulting and deeply damaging.   She just keeps spouting things out of her mouth like a bull in a china shop.  Hey lady, have you ever heard of “think before you speak”?!?  One of these days, news executives are going to finally say that they have had enough of Ann Homophobe Ageist Sexist Coulter.  The only place you will see her on your TV will be in reality TV’s ”The Surreal Life” or a celebrity version of “The Apprentice”.  Millions of people bought her book and she thinks that she represents the voice of the conservative Republican.  Well, Ann, darling, I am a woman; I am a Republican; I did not buy your book and you MOST definitely do not speak for me.  In fact, you are an embarrassment to women everywhere.  I leave you with this final thought – Ann herself said that 9/11 widows ”broads” were “enjoying their husbands’ deaths”.  Can we give her a one way ticket to anywhere but here?       

The View – Part IV

The View did an hour long show on depression yesterday.  While it was informative and covered all the bases, it would have been nice to have divided it up into two shows so that issues could have been more intricately detailed.  I have suffered from depression since the summer of 2004.  I have been through different medicines trying to find what works.  Exercise does help a great deal, but there are days that going back to bed seem like a better choice.  Rosie stressed yesterday to “MOVE”.  She is right, but again it is not always the favored choice.  She is also an advocate for a craft room.  Some specialists agree with that.  I have no idea in my house where I would make such a room.  It is not possible under this roof.  I would love to be able to have a space all my own to go and lock the door and fling paint and sculpt and glue and sparkle, but alas, it is not meant to be.  They also talked about starting a journal.  Write down your innermost thoughts, express yourself for good health.  That is why I am doing this.  I love it when I see that people have been reading my words and get really giddy when I see that someone has left a comment.  It is therapeutic and I do recommend this tactic.  Another option mentioned was going to a support group.  Ok, here is where I am going to lay it on the line.  I have been saying that support is a must for all things in our life and have revealed that I do not practice what I preach.  What I am going to say next is not to have people feel sorry for me and I am not inflicting self-pity, it is just the cold hard truth.  I can not attend a support group because I do not have anyone around me to help me out.  My husband’s job keeps him from being home  at a decent hour at night, babysitters are busy with sports and school and the closest relatives I have are an hour away.  The friends that I have that live close, either work or have small children themselves.  I’m stuck.  And I hate it.  I hate that I can not have a life of my own outside these walls of the house.  I hate that I do not have that one person that I can turn to when I need someone the most; someone that will drop everything and come running to my aid.  I hate that my husbands family all live within a few miles of each other and help one another out at the drop of a hat(they are 4 1/2 hours from us).  I hate that the same thing rings true for my sister(she is 4 hours from me).  Actually, I don’t hate those last two things as much as I am jealous of them.  Hate is an awful word and does come with consequences.  So, I despise or am disappointed that my parents do not offer their services more(they are 1 hour away).  I wanted to go to a conference to see Dr. Temple Grandin a few weeks ago, but could not find anyone to come and stay with the kids while I was out of town for the day.  Frustrating.  I see and hear about things that I would like to do, but I usually just throw the materials away because I know deep down inside it will never happen.  There are days that I feel as if I am a prisoner in my own home and the warden has gone missing.   These feelings do not help depression, they just fan the flame.  From Monday to Thursday, I have a total of 40 minutes when I am by myself.  No kids or husband.  The next time I am by myself is when I put them to bed at night and then my husband comes home after that.  Some days I feel as if I am going to completely lose it and go crazy.  This brings up another option from The View yesterday.  Get on the phone and call someone who understands you and can listen to your pain.  My problem with that is two-fold.  One I talk about the same as I write – Lengthy!!  None of my friends have that kind of time on their hands.  Two, I can not stand complaining about myself.  I feel ridiculous even writing this.  One thing that I believe will become tradition is that over Thanksgiving weekend, my friend Sarah and I have met up at a local eatery in our hometown.  She has come home for the holiday and I am just an hour away, so for the past two years we have had lunch and gabbed the afternoon away.  It is so much fun catching up and reliving our youth.  I look forward to this and hope it will continue.  It gives me something to look forward to especially during the holiday season.  I wish we lived closer year round, but again, not meant to be.  So, even though I watched the show yesterday and applaud their efforts, I don’t feel like I got much out of it.  Except for maybe one thing.  Depression is a disease and not a curse.  It doesn’t have to mean that you live with this stigma in shame and allow your family to isolate you because it is not a proper way to be.  In fact, you have to forget what your family thinks – dismiss their prejudices if necessary – and try and conquer the inner demons that have been allowed to rule your life.  One step at a time.  One day at a time.  

Musical Montage

I was on my way to the hospital yesterday and as I pulled into the parking lot and looked up at the American flag waving in the air, a song came on the radio.  Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.”  I kid you not!!  So, even though I was running a few minutes behind(nothing unusual)I sat in the van and listened to it.  A few bars in, I realized that I was welling up with tears.  I love this song!!!  It got me thinking.. what other songs out there make me feel this way?  What songs would I consider my favorites of all time?  Besides the current one playing, could I come up with 5 more all time favorites?  I do believe I have.  I have a favorite hymn:  “How Great Thou Art”.  Awesome.  Makes me fell warm and fuzzy; comforted and empowered; humble and thankful.  I, seriously can not get through it without my eyes getting misty.  In fact, when I was pregnant with our first child, we went to my in-laws for a baby shower.  While we were there, we attended church and had to sing this hymn.  It also happened to be my husbands mother’s favorite song(she died a long time ago and I never met her).  With all of that emotion and the hormones I had to excuse myself because I could not stop crying.  Ok, some of you may think I need to get a grip, but that is how much it touches me.  Next, is Martina McBride’s “Independence Day”.  I realize that the content is not that happy or promising, but it is what the little girl can take from this experience that I find rewarding.  Learn that you can take control of your life and that no one can push you around.  Love is all around and it is up to you to find it in yourself and others.  Plus, Martina can sing.  Third, is “One in a Million”.  You know I have no idea who sings this – some guy – and I’m not even sure that is the correct title, but I know that my husband serenaded me on our wedding day in front of a packed Church of family and friends and well, he brought down the house!!  You can hear on the videotape, after he was done singing, people sniffing and bridesmaids (and me!) wiping their eyes.  If you know me, I don’t like the spotlight to shine on me so much, so I was very nervous through the whole thing.  But, what a beautiful way to express yourself to someone.  He could have sang “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and I probably would put it in my top five just because of the sentiment!  Now, fourth and fifth begin to blur.  I really can’t narrow it down to a specific song, so I will just list some other favorites.  Anything from Prince’s “Purple Rain” album(I’m sure family and friends will be in shock!); The Police “Every step you take” – I know it is really about a stalker but, I like the tune; John Michael Montgomery’s “I Swear” – our first dance as husband and wife; “The Lords’s Prayer” – beautiful; “Oh Holy Night” – chills up and down my spine; Aretha Franklin’s “RESPECT” – right on sister!; Randy Travis’ – “Forever and Ever Amen”; Mickey Mouse Club theme song(heeheehee); the song from “Beauty and the Beast”; “Singing in the Rain” and pretty much everything from “Grease”.  So, what are your favorites??