The Day I Tried to Climb Out of a Hole

Have you ever felt so down that you think there is no way you will ever climb out of the hole you are in?  This weekend is one of those times.  I don’t know why……..well, I do know a few reasons but, it has never made me feel quite like this.  Last night I thought I might pull out of it.  Allison and I were scanning the channels for something exciting to watch on a Saturday night.  She likes watching movies and has become fond of the classics they show on PBS.  Last nights feature was West Side Story.  I have never seen this movie or the musical in a theater, so I decided it would be a great selection.  Allison thought there was too much “romance” and waited anxiously for “some real action”.  She was disturbed by one part, but I explained it to her and she seemed ok with it.  It is where Anita goes to tell Tony that Maria will be detained and the Jets “attack” her in the soda shop.  All in all, we both gave it a thumbs up.  Rita Moreno rocks in this film.  I then watched Saturday Night Live and caught a few laughs and liked listening to Maroon 5.  But, this morning I still feel that urge to run away.  I have done all the things they tell you to do.  I am out of bed, dressed and ate a light breakfast.  I cleaned the kitchen and folded some laundry.  I played with the dog and refereed a few battles between the kids.  Still, I just want to get in the van and drive really fast to nowhere in particular.  I’m still taking my anti-depressants and it is sunny outside so those two things don’t really factor in.  I don’t know.  I just want to feel the wind whipping through my hair and know that when I do return I will not have any responsibilities.  No such luck, though.  As I type, Bryce is wanting a drink of tea, Brady wants an banana and Allison is telling me there is nothing to do today.  So, where is Chuck?  He is at work.  As usual.  And there you have it: AS USUAL.  That pretty much sums up my life.  Nothing is ever going to change.