A New 9/11 Tragedy

Love her or hate her.  Admire her or despise her.  Always want to know what she says or could go through the rest of your life never hearing her name again.  Whatever your stance is on Rosie O’Donnell I beg you to listen to me this one time.  Rosie has written an entry in her blog about a segment for The View that was taped today to be shown on Friday’s show.  It is about the people who responded to the 9/11 tragedy at the Towers.  These people were EMT’S, Firefighters, Police and Security.  They are now experiencing health problems from this horrific day and apparently our government is not helping them very much.  Granted I have not researched this enough to give a full-fledged editorial opinion, but even if this is remotely true, we have a new tragedy on our hands.  These people were doing their jobs to help their fellow Americans.  They are heros and now they are suffering.  But, once again our media also has a twisted view of what they consider to be newsworthy.  Please check this item out on her blog.  You don’t have to read anything else on her website, just this article.  My heart goes out to these people and God Bless them for their acts of bravery on a very grim September day. 

www.rosie.com/blog/inthenews 

The title is First Responders

American Idol, Oprah Winfrey and Starving Children

So, the blockbuster hit American Idol is “giving back” this week.  I found all of the hoopla that had been brewing for the past few weeks exhausting and almost dreaded last night to come.  But, after watching the footage of the trips to Africa and around these United States and hearing “inspirational songs” from the contestants I easily became enthralled.  It made me re-examine my life and realize that somehow,  someway I could do more. 

I was afraid at first that this would be all about Africa and the dire conditions most of the population live in.  I mean, wasn’t Simon walking through an open field of trash at one point?  Seeing rail thin girls lying on the floor using all of their energy to take a breath was very depressing.  My problem wasthat thousands of miles away Ryan and Simon were assessing this tragic state of affairs when in our own backyard you can find the same thing.  Finally, they showed Randy going back to Louisiana, Simon was in California and Ryan and Paula went to Atlanta.  Homeless people living in tattered card board boxes, young children standing in line with their parents at a food bank and young students in the Appalachian region telling the camera that if you can’t read “you ain’t hardly able to get a job ’cause that’s what it’s about”.  Sad, poignant, heart wrenching and oh so very real. 

The premise for tonight was that for every call made to vote for a contestant, Fox would give 10 cents up to 50 million phone calls(basically Rupert Murdoch is shelling out the money because I believe he owns Fox).  They extended the voting from two to four hours to give the folks at home an opportunity to vote as often as they wanted and to increase the chances of getting more money.  This show has had 30 million phone calls in a two hour time period so I believe that in four hours they can reach the goal of 50 million calls.  Over the past seasons, I have maybe voted a handful of times.  Last night I wrote down all the phone numbers and decided that I was going to vote.  I voted for my favorites first and often and then I voted once for each of the remaining contestants.  So I contributed a total of $1.40 to the relief campaign.  Whoopee!!  In retrospect that doesn’t seem like a lot of money, but at least it is something. 

This makes me think of Oprah Winfrey and the school that she had built in Africa.  She spent millions and millions of dollars on this all girls academy.  The young ladies had to apply to get into the school and Oprah herself decided who was in and who was out.  I applaud her efforts for wanting to change a young girls life that otherwise would probably have been filled with nothing but despair.  But, did it need to be that expensive?  20 million dollars for one school?  That school could not have been built for half that amount?  I’m not an engineer or construction guru, but it seems to me that it isa possibility.  Then she could have taken the rest of that money and gave a million to 10 other schools in the United States.  Come on, a  million dollars would buy a plethora of books, computer programs and other resources for those children in that Kentucky school that we saw on Idol.   I don’t get it.  If you want to be a hero, at least try spreading your wealth where you pay your taxes.  We don’t always have to be a savior for every third world nation, especially when someone a few blocks away from where you live would like to be saved for at least a day.        

Some Scotty Musings

Scotty is settling in nicely and learning our routine.  The one thing that I have noticed is that he likes  routine and does not care to stray from it.  Easter Sunday, we went to early church so that we could go to my parents for dinner at noon.  After church, we came home and let him outside and gave him some food and water.  Before we left, Scotty go to go out again and then was put into his cage with a toy or two to keep him occupied.  We then left and was gone until later in the evening.  He did a good job staying in the cage that long.  He did not make any messes and was glad to run free for awhile.  I stayed up a little later than usual so he could play, but when I decided it was time for bed he whined for awhile.  The next day, it was payback.  He had not pooped in the house for a week, but he sure tried on that Monday.  He peed several times and once I found him chewing on the corner of a recliner.  Very annoying.  He seems to do this, though.  Fairly well behaved considering his age, but then when we are not home he acts up later on.  Case in point:  the day I had my appointment with the urologist.  Chuck took a half day of vacation since the appointment was in the late afternoon and he could watch the kids.  While I was gone, Scotty made all kinds of messes for Chuck.  I guess he was not used to him being there at that time of day and he revolted in my absence.  The day of my surgery he was a little terror.  My Dad commented on how quiet and cute he is before I left, but then by the end of the day, he changed his mind.  Scotty pooped and peed and he managed to throw up while I was gone.  My sister said that with the dog and the kids my Dad finally said he had had enough and Scotty needed to go into his cage.  Scotty is not even 3 months old yet and he has become very attached.   The funny thing is that I wonder if he knew my feelings about him before he arrived if he would still be my shadow as much as he is now?  I was the lone holdout on getting a dog.  I didn’t want the fuss or the burden or the extra work.  I have tried very hard to not become to close to him, but every now and then I see myself and wonder just what in the heck I am doing? 

There are a few rules he must follow.  He is not allowed on the furniture; he can not go upstairs; he is not allowed in the bathroom; no chewing on furniture; no table food and no nipping or biting.  Chuck came looking for me the other day and he found me, asleep on the bed with Scotty curled up next to me.  Chuck will come home from work and I’ll be sitting in the recliner and Scotty is right there in my lap.  When I put the kids to bed, he follows me upstairs.  If I have to go to the bathroom, he will either try to push his way in or scratch at the door until I am done.  So, we have rules…..and rules are made to be broken…..but only by me! 

I got a real kick out of him yesterday.  He very rarely barks and I have really only heard him once or twice.  Yesterday, I was making the bed and he was just carrying on.  Barking and growling.  I came running out of the bedroom thinking that there must be something wrong, why else would he make such commotion.  But, here he was standing in front of the oven door seeing his reflection in the glass and just going mad over that “other dog”.  I called Bryce into the kitchen to see if he understood what Scotty was doing.  Bryce started laughing and said “Silly Scotty”.  Silly indeed.  The other day the boys were rolling a ball back and forth to each other and one of them missed it and it went rolling into the kitchen.  Scotty went diving for this kickball like it was some intruder and then snarled at it like it was going to eat us alive.  This 6.9 pound(official vet visit)canine is like having another toddler in the house.   Maybe that is why he and Brady get along so well.  Come to think of it, maybe I really have one less child and a second dog because Brady has been going around licking people instead of giving kisses.   They say a dog can assume a personality of it’s owners and it must be true.  For the past few days whenever Scotty has done something bad, instead of calling him Scotty, I have been yelling out the name Brady!!!  That’s all I need – a canine version of Brady – Lord help me!

Surgery Day

Well, I’m back.  Surgery day had it’s ups and downs, but I guess the good thing is that I’m still alive and kickin’.  I have a check-up next week with the doctor and should receive news of the next steps that I need to take.  He removed two tumors about the size of your pinky finger.  He also had me receive a chemotherapy treatment – more on that later.

The day started off relatively normal.  I waited for my family to arrive and then the minister was also coming to the house before we left.  She had only been there a few minutes when the phone rang and it was the hospital telling me that the doc was running ahead of schedule and they needed me to come right away.  Needless to say, we prayed quickly and exchanged hugs and good tidings.  Once we were at the hospital they didn’t seem to eager to call me back.  After three other people had been taken behind the closed doors they called my name.  I went back and got myself settled in.  Soon after, a nurse came and took my blood to check my sugar and potassium.   Then, another nurse came in and did the vitals and asked me tons of questions.  Her name was Sue and she was very warm and friendly, the type of person you would want in a nurse.  I liked her alot until she said it was time for the IV.  I tried to stall and said that maybe we should wait until the blood work came back just to make sure I was still having it.  She smiled and said that it would be okay and she would be really careful with the IV.  See, I have this problem with those darn IV’s.  I have nice veins they just like to hide deep in the skin and don’t want to “pop out” for the nurses.  I have had nurses try several times on one hand just to get them to stay put, it’s painful and I try to avoid pain as much as possible.  Well, a few tricks later and she was successful the first time and it was not so bad for me.  After what seemed like an eternity, she came back and I asked for something to calm me.  She said that the blood work had come back and my potassium was one-tenth under the norm, but they could go ahead and do it.  She said she would call anesthesiology and they could give me something to relax, especially since I wouldn’t be going in for at least another hour and a half.  WHAT!!!  She said that is when you are scheduled, so I proceeded to tell her about the phone call.  Sue was not impressed and said she would get to the bottom of it because the doc was still in his office with patients!! 

A few minutes later, Chuck came into the room and I caught him up on the proceedings.  “Tom” the anesthesiologist came in and went through his million round of questions and said he couldn’t give me anything until a nurse from the O.R. came in and talked with me.  Finally, she came in and did her speel and asked her gazillion questions that I had already answered for the fourth time that day.  When she left, Sue came in and said that she found out who had called me – anesthesiology made the phone call.  Evidently, someone had a tee time to catch and thought if I showed up, then he could hit the course a little early, well he was wrong.  I was still scheduled at the same time I was for the past few days and it was not changing.  I then asked Sue about the medicine and she said it was on it’s way up.  Chuck left and went and got my Mom to tell her what was going on.  Of course, mother was exasperated and asked me why they had called; what were they thinking calling me and telling me to come early; why hadn’t they checked with the doctor; why didn’t they check with the nursing staff; why would they do that!!  My response each time: “I don’t know”.  If you knew my mom this line of questioning would be funnier.  So, there we all sat.  Watching the hands of the clock tick….ever….so….slowly.  Pretty soon another man came snooping around.  He popped his head in and then left and walked down the hall.  Then he came back and looked at my chart and then left.  Sue came in and said she was still waiting on the medicine and I asked her about “snooping man”.  She left to investigate.  He was actually the anesthesiologist that would be doing my surgery…so who was “Tom”?  I don’t remember “blue cap man’s” name, but he was slighty attractive.  He said that he couldn’t give me the “relaxing medicine” until the doctor came in!!  I laughed out loud, because as soon as he uttered those words, Sue came in with the “juice”!!  Apparently, the “juice” makes a person very groggy within seconds and I needed to be coherent for when the doc arrived.  Of course, I had two people sitting in there with me, but I guess that didn’t count.  At 15 minutes before my surgery was to begin, my doctor showed up.  He walked in and immediately said, “Who are these people?” meaning my husband and mother.  He then said that after my surgery I would get some medicine in my catheter to help with the tumors.  He leaves and Sue gives me the medicine, which I said not to bother with now, but “blue cap man” said I needed it and away we went.

The next thing I remember is having”blue cap man” lightly slapping my cheeks telling me to wake up.  I immediately begin to cry.  He asks what is wrong and I tell him I don’t know.  He asks are you in that much pain already and I tell him no.  Again, he asks what is wrong and in between sobs I tell him I don’t know, I’m just sad.  He laughs and says that is a side effect of whatever medicine it was they used.  Then, I felt it.  Pain!!  A nurse says that it is just the catheter and I tell her that if it is the catheter then they have it in the wrong place!  She did not find that funny.  She gave me medicine in the IV and then a pill to keep under my tongue to help control the bladder spasms.  After being with her for about 30 minutes, she moves me down the hall to another recovery room.  She tells my new nurse that she needs to give me the “medicine”.  Cathy says she can’t do that, but she will make the phone call and someone will be right up.  Soon after, Ginny walks in and says “Hi – I’m here from cancer care and I will be giving you your chemo treatment today”.  Talk about the other shoe dropping.  My doctor had said “medicine” not “chemo”.  A few seconds later, Chuck walks in and I tell him why Ginny is here.  He leaves and goes to the waiting room to tell my mother because she is calling people and letting them know it’s all done.  Ginny clamped off the catheter and administered the medicine in it and told me every 15 minutes I had to roll around from side to back to side to front.  Great fun.  Supposedly giving it through the catheter would cause me to have less symptoms.  I debate that issue.  The chemo was Mitomicin and we were given instructions about toilet flushing and hand washing.  Very overwhelming.  But, the past 2 weeks has been that way.  Finally, everything was done and it was time to go home….just me and Chuck and my Mom and my new friend “the catheter”.    

Sorry this is so long.  That concludes what happened at the hospital, what went on at home is another story.  I’ll break this up and do recovery later on.  I want to say, though, I did receive messages from some of you that read my blog and I appreciate your concern and interest.  Thanks.

Happiness

Maybe I am being a little sentimental right now because of tomorrow, but as Rosie says I should surround myself with yellow.  So, what makes me happy or gives me that warm inside feeling like a fresh baked cookie?  What makes my hair stand on end – in a good way -that feeling that you never want to end?  Here is my list.  I know it is not complete.  I’ll probably think of a dozen more later on, but for now this is what I have compiled.

1.  A cool Spring morning with rays of sunshine streaming in the windows and a light breeze blowing the curtains.

2.  The first fallen snowflakes that are big and light and are illuminated by the glow of the moon with no breeze in sight.

3.  The first time the grill is fired up on a summer day.

4.  My children smiling at me and telling me that they love me.

5.  A first kiss.

6.  Repeating marriage vows to the man that you know – through the good and the bad – will be with you for all of your life now and everafter.

7.  The sound of a newborn babies cry.

8.  Receiving an unexpected compliment.

9.  Catching up face to face with an old friend.

10. Receiving good news no matter what the situation.

11. Singing your favorite hymn in church on Sunday morning.

12. Having your child request to sit on your lap even though most of the time they think they are all grown up and to old for such things.

13. Being reunited with a loved one, whether the time was short or long or the distance was feet or miles away.

14. Reminiscing about those that have gone before you. 

15. Realizing that you made it through another day with everyone all tucked in for the night.

16. Accepting that God does lead you down the right path, but it’s up to you to take over at the wheel every now and then. 

Surgery Day is Fast Approaching

The countdown is on.  In less than 48 hours, I will be having my surgery.  A few things have developed over the past several days.  I had my pre-admission testing and a nurse called and said that my potassium was low and I needed to take some medicine to get it back up within a normal level before the surgery.  I have had this problem before.  The pills are huge that you need to take to boost your level and you have to drink lots of water with them.  The thing about the potassium is that if it is to low you can die while under the anesthetic – something with bleeding too much or not clotting or…..I don’t remember – just that it can be really bad.  I also got some going home instructions already and I am annoyed.  No one told me that there is a long healing process with this.  It will take six weeks for the bladder to heal completely.  No driving for two weeks, can’t lift anything over 10 pounds for two weeks and if I had a job outside of the home, I would not be able to return to work for 4-5 weeks.  I thought that maybe I would be sore for a few days, but not all of this.  Chuck is only taking one vacation day on Tuesday and then is going back to work.  Now I am afraid that I will be in big trouble on Wednesday. 

The doctor will be sending a biopsy to a pathologist.  He has already told me that he is confident that it is cancer.  He could be wrong, but his nurse says it doesn’t happen very often.  I am going with what the doctor said and if he happens to be wrong, well then that is great news.  Either way, he says the tumors need to be removed because of size and quantity.  The goal is still no chemotherapy or radiation, but that will be definite pending the pathologists report.  Also hoping that I will be able to go home the same day and nothing weird happens, but I don’t always have the best of luck when it comes to these types of situations. 

My sister-in-law came for two days and helped around the house.  It was very nice.  It was fun having another adult around and the kids were on pretty good behavior.  Bryce cried when she left.  I didn’t tell him that he would be seeing other family members soon, because I would never hear the end of it.  The day of the surgery my parents and sister are coming.  After that, I guess we are on our own.  It is hard to plan when you don’t know all of the details yet.  One of my brother-in-laws called and said that he knew this was even more difficult because Chuck( and his family are not emotional – if you don’t say the bad things out loud then maybe they aren’t really true)can be emotionally unavailable.  He told me that I am more logical and a planner and that Chuck knows I will take care of everything.  I got to thinking about that last night and you know what?  Sometimes I would like to not be the logical one.  Sometimes it would be nice to not have to be the planner.  I spent last week canceling appointments, rearranging the kids schedule, adding names to the emergency rosters at the boys school and setting up replacements to get the boys on and off the bus.  I was also calling teachers to let them know that something was going on at home so if they acted different this could be it.  Allison made me a get well card during recess instead of playing with her friends.  Her teacher referred her to the guidance counselor.  PLEASE PLEASE would someone else volunteer to be the LOGICAL one!! 

So here is hoping that everything turns out just fine.  I doubt if I will make to many entries this coming week.  I am getting nervous about the whole thing.  I am not really good at the unknown……it is one of my biggest fears.  I will be  glad when Monday comes and I can put this behind me and move on to whatever comes next.     

The Results – Round II

A few weeks back, I posted that I had received my ultrasound results and that there were cysts on the ovaries and maybe something with the bladder.  The doctor said that the pain that I was still having was not from the cysts and that he thought I should have the bladder checked out to be safe and cover all the bases.  So, this week I went to a urologist.  I figured that he would schedule to have a scope done at the hospital, but I was very wrong.  He did it in his office – that day.  After giving me very little numbing, he inserted the catheter and the scope to see what the polyps looked like.  It was a short exam(painful, none the less) and he said to get dressed and he would be back in to talk to me.  The nurse knew I was nervous and she gave me a heads up.  While the doctor was doing the exam he asked if anyone had come with me, which I took to be a bad sign.  I was close.  The first thing he said is that he can not do anything for my pelvic pain.  There is a little known condition called, very simply, Chronic Pelvic Pain.  It happens in mainly white women of a young age that have had several surgeries in that area.  I fit the criteria.  He said that with those surgeries something is triggered and the pain comes and goes.  OK.  The next bit of news was not as good.

The doctor told me that these polyps that were found on the ultrasound were actually tumors.  These tumors take on different looks and have a pattern.  He told me that, in fact, yes it was cancer, but at this stage is very treatable.  He will do surgery and go in and remove the tumors.  I will have to wear a catheter for a few days after and if I respond well to that, I will not have to stay in the hospital.  He will then do the scope every two months to check my progress, because these types of tumors can return.  So, cancer yes, but not life threatening.  Oh and I will not need any chemo or radiation. 

I was by myself when I found this out and to be honest I was a mess.  You only hear the word cancer and not much of anything else.  But, given a few days I am much better.  I just needed time for it to all sink in.  I also knew that I was going to have to research this a bit more.  Last night, I went on the National Cancer Institute’s website and the Mayo Clinic website to gather more info.  This is what I learned.  The core group that get this type of cancer is in a different category than me.  The doctor said that I do not fit any of the normal stereotypes for this.  90% are older than 55 and 50% are older than 73.  It is the 4th leading cause of cancer in men and the 8th in women.  According to the NCI this years estimates will be that 38,000 men will contract this to the 15,000 women that will.  Last year around 13,000 people died from this disease.  There are different stages to this cancer, as with all others.  According to the diagnosis and treatment, I fall in the Stage 1 category.  He did not say that any of my bladder would have to be removed, which is good.  The likelihood of a recurrence is great, though.  The worst case scenario is that when it returns, if not caught in time, it can spread to other organs.  In my case, it could likely spread to my ovaries, fallopian tubes, vagina, blood or bone.  I feel very confident that with two month check-ups for one to two years, I have nothing to worry about. 

I just find it very strange that I went in for one thing and ended up finding out another.  If this cancer had not been found now, it would have had a chance to continue to grow and spread.  My prognosis would have not been as good as it is now.  It makes you really think.  I mean THINK.  God DOES work in mysterious ways.  

Where is Scotty?

Where is Scotty? is something that I must ask two dozen times a day.  I am constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure he is not chewing on something or making a mess.  The cage training is coming along nicely.  He has been here a week and I can almost count on the fact that when he is in the cage overnight that he will not make a mess.  Now, when he is running loose in the house is another thing.  I am trying to learn his pattern and watch his movements to figure out when he needs to go outside.  The bad part is that I still need to go out with him or he just sits at the door. 

Also, those darn cats!  Scotty thinks they want to play.  Most of them have become used to the fact that he is not going away, but is here to stay, except for one.  There is one gray male(actually there are 3 gray males, but I can tell them apart)that thinks he needs to be the alpha cat.  Three nights ago, I heard this horrible screeching on the front porch.  At first, I assumed that the cats were”at it again”, but I thought that was weird because they never”do it” on the porch!  So, I turned on the lights and opened the door and here were 2 of the gray males having a real”cat fight”.  They were tangled up in each other and hissing and clawing and  then the skinny one broke free and tried to run away, but the other one got ahold of his tail.  Finally, “skinny” got free and ran up a tree.  “Big Boy”(that’s what I call him – he is huge)sat at the base of the tree and just coyly meowed, as if he were taunting “Skinny”.  I shrugged my shoulders and went inside.  Well, now “skinny” thinks he can do the alpha thing with Scotty.  Last night, he would circle around us and tried twice to lunge at Scotty from behind.  I was quick enough that I got him square in the jaw with my foot and sent him sailing a few feet.  He turned around and hissed at me and slowly came creeping back, like a tiger checking out his prey.  Funny thing is that I hissed back at “skinny” and he got scared and ran under the car.  Wimp.  So, a few hours later, I needed to take Scotty out and there was the harem waiting at the door.  I spied “Skinny” so I went and got a spray bottle and directed it straight at him.  Bullseye!  He went scurrying away and the others just looked amused.   

Bryce still has not warmed up to Scotty.  He sits on the couch laughing the whole time, but when you bring the dog near him – he freaks.  If Scotty gets a burst of energy and tears throughthe house at lightning speed, Bryce laughs so hard you would think he was going to pee his pants.  But,  he becomes a statue if you take his hand and try to have him pet the dog.  Bryce wants to know where Scotty is all the time, out of concern, but just from a distance.  I think I will call his specialist soon if this does not start to die down.  I don’t think it is very healthy for Bryce and we just can’t give the dog away now because the other two have become attached – especially Brady.  Brady is like a puppy still.  Bursts of energy that gets him all fired up to do unspeakable things.  He constantly is picking him up and carrying him through the house.  He has tried to take him upstairs and then slide down on his back with the dog in tow.  He also likes to tease Bryce by bringing the dog and trying to dump him in his lap – that gets Brady a timeout due to Bryce’s reaction. 

My Mom wants us to bring Scotty with us Easter Sunday.  I told her that I think she is nuts.  Mom then wants to know if the dog is cute.  I told her, “No he is not cute at all.  I purposely tried to pick the ugliest puppy in the kennel.”  What?  Of course he is cute.  But, I don’t think she will think he is so cute when he is peeing on her new white carpet.  Sorry Scotty, you’ll have to stay home.               

Immunizations=Autism – I Don’t Think So

I have been avoiding this topic like the plague, but it is time to delve right in with my humble opinion.  Autism does not have a cure – yet.  We do not know for SURE what causes autism  The major debate is between mercury based vaccinations and neurology. 

 Autism sparks different kinds of tics or repetitive movements and certain odd behaviors.  For instance, when we go to Wendy’s for lunch, Bryce has the chicken nugget kids meal with chocolate milk.  He takes a napkin and lays it out flat and puts his nuggets in a straight line at the top of the napkin.  Next, he takes his french fries and puts them in a neat order under the nuggets.  After that, he drinks all of his milk, then eats the nuggets and finishes off by eating all of the fries.  Interestingly enough, I learned that when I was very young, I would follow a similar pattern.  For example, if we were having fried chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans, I  would have to have them in separate sections on my plate and I would eat each food in it’s entirety before moving on to the next food on my plate and the plate had to be sitting in front of me in a specific way.  Coincidence or freak of nature?   

 Next, autism also is in connection with sensory related issues: not wanting to touch certain things because of the feel or texture, not wanting to get dirty or be held tight or in a cramped place.  Bryce hates to get dirty.  We were in an elevator once and the gentleman riding with us commented on how clean Bryce’s shoes were and that they must be brand new.  They were not.  He had had that pair of shoes for six moths.  On the contrary, Brady can take a pair of tennis shoes and have them ragged and worn within six weeks.  Bryce also has a problem feeling the texture of shaving cream, so he never wants Cool Whip on his ice cream , jello, etc.  He also had a problem with play-dough, but that is slowly fading away.  Even the feel of bubbles on his face would send him into a frenzy.  He never liked being held as a baby and does not like to be tucked in too tight at night.  So, I had a problem with getting dirty when I was young and still to this day I have to “suck it up” so as to set a good example for the kids.  I am claustrophobic.  I can’t stand touching a chalkboard and definitely go over the edge with the fingernails on the chalkboard sound.  Coincidence or not? 

I believe that in my childs case, vaccinations were not the cause.  Autism does involve the brain.  A persons brain function is a direct result of their actions.  An autistic person needs to learn how to re-wire their brain to be able to perform everyday tasks.  In the structure of the brain is where the trouble lies.  I don’t believe a vaccination can cause that.  I believe that they are born that way and that heredity plays a part in it. 

Dr. Temple Grandin says in her book(and I paraphrase)that their is a little bit of autism in all of us.  People who work with computers and hi-tech equipment probably have their own little quirks that are not large enough to register on the autism radar but they have them nonetheless.  If you would go back through their genealogy you would probably find someone who had these same quirks only on a more significant level.  I had such definitive behaviors when I was a child that it is absolutely possible that I passed them onto my children.  Am I considered autistic?  No, but who is to say that the combination of my behaviors and my husbands genetic make-up did not produce Bryce, an autistic individual.  The vaccination theory does not sit well with me because all three of my children had their immunizations in different parts of the state.  If we did a study of all the infants who were immunized where Bryce was, how many of them are autistic now?  Isn’t that what they are claiming?  That mercury in these vaccinations is causing the problem.  So, are the pharmaceutical companies who make the vaccines putting mercury in a select few so that there are autistic children  all over the country or are they putting it in the same batch that would be distributed to the same area and cause an epidemic in that particular part of the country?  It seems to me that the latter would be the easiest.  Of course, I am not a scientist, or a pharmacist or a doctor.  I am a mother who has an autistic child who believes that his shot of MMR or DTaP or polio did not cause him to be this way.  It seems that now a days everyone is ready for a witch hunt in this country.  Someone is covering for someone else because of the almighty dollar.  I thought that they had even stopped producing the mercury vaccinations?  So what does anybody have to gain?  Pharmaceutical companies are just an easy target because of the “enhanced truth” that the government is protecting them.  I think everyone that has an autistic child should just stop and breathe.  We may never find the 100% unequivocal truth of how autism is caused.  Instead let’s take that energy of blaming others and re-focus it into finding a CURE.

Welcome Home Scotty

I have finally succumbed to peer pressure.  I have been the lone hold-out, but my family has worn me down.  Last Thursday, on my birthday, Chuck, Brady and I went and bought a puppy.  He is a male cock-a-poo that was born Jan. 26.  He is black with a white stripe going down his throat to his belly.  At first, he was named Sebastian, but within 24 hours he has now become Scotty.  He is in love with the kids.  It took awhile for the boys to warm up to him, but now Brady rolls on the floor with Scotty crawling all over him.  Bryce is still hesitant.  He does like him, but from a distance.  If Scotty is on the floor, Bryce will climb furniture to make sure he is in a safe place, but when it comes time for bed, Bryce insists on sleeping on the coach whileScotty is in his cage in the living room.  The problem with that is the cage does not go in the living room.  We have a back room/mud room/wash room type area and that is where the cage goes.  Bryce gets very unhappy when we put him in it, yet he doesn’t want to hold him.  I am hoping that with each passing day Bryce will become more used to having him around and will be able to be more confident in reaching out to Scotty.  As for me, what I predicted would happen, has.  So far, Mom is doing the most work in caring for the puppy.  This is why I have been putting this off.  Doing a load of laundry has been a whole lot harder these past few days.  I’m cleaning floors, taking him outside to take care of business, I’ve stepped on him twice and I WORRY.  Worry – is he eating enough, have I bought the wrong food and it’s going to kill him, is he happy, is he sleeping too much, is he lonely(there were at least six other puppies in with him), will he get fleas, will I ever get him cage and potty-trained, what will our harem of cats do to him…………..Ugh! this is why I didn’t want a dog.  He follows me around and when I am sitting down he sleeps on top of my shoe.  He snuggles between my legs while I am cooking dinner and looks at me real pathetic when he poops on the carpet.  I am exhausted before dinner time.  It is like having another infant in the house.  It has been 2 1/2 days since he has been here.  I am just so mad at myself for giving in to Chuck and the kids.  I knew this would happen……………………….I have fallen in love.